Hurricane Irene is on its way to New England and we aren’t far enough north in Maine to be free of it. We are in about the same hazard zone as Massachusetts. So to prepare, I made sure to buy lots and lots of beer. Sign number one that I may be on the redneck path.
Redneck sign number two came a few days ago, when I refused to call anyone to deliver us firewood for the winter. Instead, I bought myself a Husqvarna 18″ gas-powered chainsaw. It just seemed so un-Maine like and a bit sissy to call a guy to bring seasoned, dry and nicely cut up firewood when I’ve got 7 acres of land and plenty of dead trees to cut up myself. I did have to take baby steps into buying the chainsaw. I started with a hand-held crosscut saw and I labored at it for days. I cut down a few dead trees with it and it worked, but it took a long time. By the way, trees are heavy. Even small ones. I lugged two trees over my shoulder to the house after cutting them down. It was exhausting. In the end, I realized I needed more power as I was sitting on my porch drinking a beer.
Sign number three came at the same time that sign number two came. I realized that I really, really needed (wanted) an ATV. With an ATV, I can go deep into my forest pulling my tractor cart which has a load of 1000 lbs and bring back cords and cords of firewood. And because the snowmobile trail cuts our property in half, I can do some off-roading in the summer right from my own property. And who knows, maybe I’ll find some new, remote fishing spots on the way.
Sign number four came when my brother called to tell me that he may have found me a 4 wheel drive pickup truck that he was going to fix up and put a cab on it. His reasoning was that he can load up the truck with my stuff that I had left in Washington State and ship it to me on a train. Of course, my thought was, if I had a truck with a cab, I can put the air mattress in back and go camping up north. This was the turning point where I went full redneck. I can load up my chainsaw, pull my imaginary ATV on the back of the truck, tie my recently bought canoe on top, buy some land far, far up north on a beautiful river or lake only accessible by logging roads and build myself a fishing camp with logs I cut down myself. I’m already a member of the Log Home builders Association, so that in and of itself may make me a redneck.
Sign number five came when I realized that if I build myself a fishing camp up north, I have to be prepared for bears, big cats, wolves and other such predatory species and so I think I’d have to get myself a big gun.
And finally, sign number six came when I realized that I really need to learn how to skin animals so that I can make my own clothing out of deer skin. I’m not sure why I need to learn that skill, but it seems like a good idea.
At any rate, I’ve got to go cut some logs up for winter with my new chainsaw. I hope everyone has enough beer to last out the big storm.
haha! this is great. my coworker saw a guy preparing for the storm by buying two cases of shitty beer and the largest box of condoms she claims she’s ever seen. you go, mystery manhattan man!
i’m ready… may not be a hurricane by the time it reaches us, but it’s still pretty likely. i’ve got extra ice, food, batteries/flashlights, candles, water, a bottle of tequila, a bottle of hard farm cider, and a bottle of decent champagne.
i love that you got your house way up north and you’re looking to push further. i’m not at all surprised, but it makes me happy. sounds fabulous. hey, i joined the nyc women’s shooting sports league, so i’ve been to a range in chelsea a few times. nyc laws are super strict so they won’t let you touch a handgun without a permit, but we get to play with rifles. i went to georgia in late april and my friend took me shooting something better. so fun! i want venison.
miss you guys! had breakfast with perera last time i was in the bean and we talked about you two up there. hope all is well.